When you find yourself getting stressed about something, how do you deal with it?
There are two fairly effective solutions:
1. Remove yourself from the thing that is causing the stress or
2. Remove the thing that is causing the stress from yourself
All very well and good until it comes to food........humans and food are inextricably linked and you can do neither of the above solutions. If you remove yourself from food the outcome will not be good, and equally if you remove food from yourself the outcome again will be deadly.
So how on earth do you deal with a stressor that cannot and should not be removed? No I don't know either, but this is where I'm at now. Food is stressing me out, I don't want anything to do with it (but I have to to survive) I can't remove it, and I shouldn't remove myself from it (and before you all panic I won't remove myself from it) But sometimes when just walking through the kitchen makes you burst into tears how do I deal with that? I can't have a break from it for 2 weeks, food is ever present as it's a basic human need. Unless I employ a chef to feed me (now wouldn't that be good!!) three meals a day for a fortnight, that just arrive on the table, there is no let up in this stress at all.
My friends and family have been very good, but I can't help feeling that I am in a glass box, I feel distant even though I'm being included, which isn't helping the feelings of isolation from everybody around me, and I do not want to attend things that involve food because it will just upset me (but won't help the feelings of isolation.) I know there are some of you out there who know exactly what I'm talking about, and some of you are reading this saying it can't be that bad.
Put yourself in my position: When we go to anything I have to take my own food. If we go to a venue I have to ring ahead and ask all sorts of questions which sound silly, but are necessary. Knowing full well that if a mistake is made I wouldn't know since I get no effects whatsoever (I'm what is known as a silent Coeliac). except malabsorption and that takes quite a long time to show up, and can only be tested by blood tests. I am not about to compromise my strict GF diet to find out what the effects of eating gluten would be 9 months down the line. I cannot just turn up and expect to be fed, like the rest of you do. This becomes a problem, because I get bored with what I make and take with me, it is also more expensive, and I don't get the respite of not having to think about more than one dish for everyone, i.e. I am expected to provide my own food plus a contribution for everyone else.
I've lost interest in food, I don't want anything to do with it, it is stressing me out every time I think about it, I can't get away from it and as a consequence I cannot deal properly with the stress which is starting to make me ill. I'm eating because I have to, not because it's enjoyable. All the enjoyment has been sucked out of food and I have no idea how to combat it. I faced up to Coeliac Disease and confronted it, but this is much, much harder, and it's made even harder by not being able to explain what this feels like or how it affects me.
Nothing is impossible, but this has me stumped as to how to deal with it.
Thursday, 27 June 2013
Sunday, 16 June 2013
This b***** disease condition...
Yeah I'm upset. This B***** disease has just deprived me of having a fun evening with my friends. It is not my friends fault, it is the fault of the establishment where they are going to eat, the best they could offer me was a Salad!!
Do they really think I am going to attend a restaurant and spend extortionate amounts of money to be presented with a bowl of lettuce, while watching everyone else tuck in to decent food?
The venue in question told me that there were loads of items on the menu I could eat, and when I looked everything was either breaded or battered (even the fish and chips was battered in beer batter so worse than normal!) or it was Pasta or bread based. Clearly this venue has no idea what 'gluten' is, never mind what it's contained in.
I have made a suggestion that we could change venue, but that might present more of a challenge since the invites have already gone out asking people for their choice from the menu. However I shall wait and see, if we can change the venue to one where I know I can eat safely I will be a happy bunny, but if we can't there is no point whatsoever me even attempting to go.
Feeling very isolated and forgotten about, and just because some restaurant can't or rather won't try and accomodate my diet. So I have to stay at home while my friends have a good time. No fair!!
P****** off and very angry, at the catering industry.
Rant over, feel better now even though I am very upset.
Do they really think I am going to attend a restaurant and spend extortionate amounts of money to be presented with a bowl of lettuce, while watching everyone else tuck in to decent food?
The venue in question told me that there were loads of items on the menu I could eat, and when I looked everything was either breaded or battered (even the fish and chips was battered in beer batter so worse than normal!) or it was Pasta or bread based. Clearly this venue has no idea what 'gluten' is, never mind what it's contained in.
I have made a suggestion that we could change venue, but that might present more of a challenge since the invites have already gone out asking people for their choice from the menu. However I shall wait and see, if we can change the venue to one where I know I can eat safely I will be a happy bunny, but if we can't there is no point whatsoever me even attempting to go.
Feeling very isolated and forgotten about, and just because some restaurant can't or rather won't try and accomodate my diet. So I have to stay at home while my friends have a good time. No fair!!
P****** off and very angry, at the catering industry.
Rant over, feel better now even though I am very upset.
Sunday, 2 June 2013
Wow!! Or What a Wonderful Wedding
I was so scared about attending my brothers wedding yesterday, they had a wedding lunch, which of course was family only, and then they had an afternoon tea (which I believe I stated in a previous post is possibly the worst thing for a Coeliac!!)
I needn't have worried, I had forgotten that my 'now' Sister in Law was an events manager. It was lovely, and to boot the sun came out. The reason I was so worried is obvioualy this was a very important celebration and the first one I've attended since diagnosis, and I did not want anything to go wrong. What was so nice was when lunch came out the lady who was in charge of our table said coeliac sausages for you and then mentioned that the onion gravy was also gluten free (yes we had bangers and mash!!) but in such a discreet manner that the only person who noticed was my husband.
Then the afternoon tea, when I went to see what was available I was told, oh just help yourself from the table, when I explained that I was the lady who was Coeliac she looked at me and said oh yes the Chef is doing yours now, and well all I can say is WOW!! I had an oval plate to myself with around 16 triangular sandwiches on one half being smoked salmon, and the other half cheese. My Mum's face was a picture, and then she said 'Is that ALL for you?' having previously checked, the answer was yes!!
Unfortunately the Bride and Groom had warned me that I wouldn't be able to eat their wedding cake, as it wasn't Gluten Free, but they more than made up for it with the amount of Cake that was plated separately for me (and no I didn't eat all of it!) 5 slices of fruit cake and 5 chocolate brownies.
There was free flowing Tea and Coffee and wine and champagne for those of us that weren't driving. So although I had my reservations before lunch, I was impressed with the service of the staff, and obviously both my brother and his wife for the effort they put in, to make sure I had a good day too. I was just a bit miffed I couldn't have the Scones with Cream and Jam. (but I guess over time you get used to that.) I was concerned that my brother would forget that I have a new illness, as up until now, I have always been able to eat everything. So it was a rewarding experience.
So if you ever go to 'The Dene' in Woldingham, if you talk to the staff I'm sure you will be catered for. Obviously we had a Private Function area, but I was impressed with the attitude and the service.
Oh and my 5 year old nephew was brilliant as the 'Best Man' that was sooooo cute. It was a lovely day.
I needn't have worried, I had forgotten that my 'now' Sister in Law was an events manager. It was lovely, and to boot the sun came out. The reason I was so worried is obvioualy this was a very important celebration and the first one I've attended since diagnosis, and I did not want anything to go wrong. What was so nice was when lunch came out the lady who was in charge of our table said coeliac sausages for you and then mentioned that the onion gravy was also gluten free (yes we had bangers and mash!!) but in such a discreet manner that the only person who noticed was my husband.
Then the afternoon tea, when I went to see what was available I was told, oh just help yourself from the table, when I explained that I was the lady who was Coeliac she looked at me and said oh yes the Chef is doing yours now, and well all I can say is WOW!! I had an oval plate to myself with around 16 triangular sandwiches on one half being smoked salmon, and the other half cheese. My Mum's face was a picture, and then she said 'Is that ALL for you?' having previously checked, the answer was yes!!
Unfortunately the Bride and Groom had warned me that I wouldn't be able to eat their wedding cake, as it wasn't Gluten Free, but they more than made up for it with the amount of Cake that was plated separately for me (and no I didn't eat all of it!) 5 slices of fruit cake and 5 chocolate brownies.
There was free flowing Tea and Coffee and wine and champagne for those of us that weren't driving. So although I had my reservations before lunch, I was impressed with the service of the staff, and obviously both my brother and his wife for the effort they put in, to make sure I had a good day too. I was just a bit miffed I couldn't have the Scones with Cream and Jam. (but I guess over time you get used to that.) I was concerned that my brother would forget that I have a new illness, as up until now, I have always been able to eat everything. So it was a rewarding experience.
So if you ever go to 'The Dene' in Woldingham, if you talk to the staff I'm sure you will be catered for. Obviously we had a Private Function area, but I was impressed with the attitude and the service.
Oh and my 5 year old nephew was brilliant as the 'Best Man' that was sooooo cute. It was a lovely day.
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
How Awesome are Coeliac UK
How awesome are Coeliac UK, I'll tell you. After my emergency admission to the local hospital last week and the ensuing problems with trying to access gluten free food, I came home and just copied in CUK in my communictions with the hospitals PALS department.
It appears that in my case there was a communication breakdown and I wasn't told something as basic as they had a separate Gluten Free menu (now I know!!) and that some of their procedures weren't followed for whatever reason.
The next thing to appear in my inbox is a request from CUK that the hospital do some digging into what actually went wrong.....this was a copied message. I tell you what, I felt so supported after the disappointment of the problems whilst I was in the hospital. They've kicked butt just for me, it made it feel worhtwhile being a member of the charity and is well worth the £20 a year they charge us for that kind of support.
I am impressed and really pleased, as I have had back up support. Wonderful. and Thank You to those of you that do this for us.
It appears that in my case there was a communication breakdown and I wasn't told something as basic as they had a separate Gluten Free menu (now I know!!) and that some of their procedures weren't followed for whatever reason.
The next thing to appear in my inbox is a request from CUK that the hospital do some digging into what actually went wrong.....this was a copied message. I tell you what, I felt so supported after the disappointment of the problems whilst I was in the hospital. They've kicked butt just for me, it made it feel worhtwhile being a member of the charity and is well worth the £20 a year they charge us for that kind of support.
I am impressed and really pleased, as I have had back up support. Wonderful. and Thank You to those of you that do this for us.
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Suspect your wondering
I suspect you're wondering where I got to this month!!
Firstly my brother was rushed into hospital at the end of April with a suspected heart attack, but it turned out to be Pericarditis, so although not life threatening I think it scared the wotsits out of everybody. Pleased to report he is doing well and should be fine for his wedding on 1st June.
Being Coeliac awareness week this week I thought I'd do my bit, I had posters put up in the Post Office the local Hairdressers and a very accomodating local coffee shop. I then got in the kitchen and was cooking and baking to take some food to Cubs on Monday (13th May) to explain to them that I have this illness and how hard sometimes it can be. The results of my improvised 'you go shopping game' was quite interesting, at one point the only 'safe' food I could eat was a box of pastry and a packet of fajita mix!! Despite the fact that a lot of the things I took with me were quite clearly marked gluten free....fortunately I don't have to rely on them to do my shopping!
I did have every intention on Wednesday of holding a coffee morning with gluten free goodies, however on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning I was admitted as an emergency to the local hospital with a suspected Deep Vein Thrombosis. Fortunately after some tests a DVT was ruled out, and within 24 hours I was back home dosed up on Antibiotics for a severe infection and Thrombophlebitis. Needless to say the coffee mornng never happened!! The experience at the hospital with my diet was not good either, they appeared totally clueless and I ended up with no food 3 times, now as a hospital I would expect better than that. Someone said I should have bought my own (at 2:00 in the morning unplanned?!)
I was presented with no breakfast, no lunch and no tea.......mmmmm. Anyway I'm home now and will be back at work (all being well) on Thursday next week.
So I've had an interesting month, the good thing that came out of the Cub meeting was this: They all decided that my Jaffa Cakes were really good, there weren't any Flapjacks left and they decided that GF food isn't as bad as many people think. But the best bit: PARENT: It's so nice for William to be able to eat everything, as usually he has to bring his own food. This Cub is allergic to a lot of things, but doesn't have Coeliac disease and I think Mum was really grateful that someone had taken into account, and understood some of the problems with the things that William can't eat. That meant more to me, than whether any of the kids had understood what I was talking about or even understood Coeliac Disease. I have no way of knowing but if only one went home a bit more aware then I achieved my goal.
Firstly my brother was rushed into hospital at the end of April with a suspected heart attack, but it turned out to be Pericarditis, so although not life threatening I think it scared the wotsits out of everybody. Pleased to report he is doing well and should be fine for his wedding on 1st June.
Being Coeliac awareness week this week I thought I'd do my bit, I had posters put up in the Post Office the local Hairdressers and a very accomodating local coffee shop. I then got in the kitchen and was cooking and baking to take some food to Cubs on Monday (13th May) to explain to them that I have this illness and how hard sometimes it can be. The results of my improvised 'you go shopping game' was quite interesting, at one point the only 'safe' food I could eat was a box of pastry and a packet of fajita mix!! Despite the fact that a lot of the things I took with me were quite clearly marked gluten free....fortunately I don't have to rely on them to do my shopping!
I did have every intention on Wednesday of holding a coffee morning with gluten free goodies, however on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning I was admitted as an emergency to the local hospital with a suspected Deep Vein Thrombosis. Fortunately after some tests a DVT was ruled out, and within 24 hours I was back home dosed up on Antibiotics for a severe infection and Thrombophlebitis. Needless to say the coffee mornng never happened!! The experience at the hospital with my diet was not good either, they appeared totally clueless and I ended up with no food 3 times, now as a hospital I would expect better than that. Someone said I should have bought my own (at 2:00 in the morning unplanned?!)
I was presented with no breakfast, no lunch and no tea.......mmmmm. Anyway I'm home now and will be back at work (all being well) on Thursday next week.
So I've had an interesting month, the good thing that came out of the Cub meeting was this: They all decided that my Jaffa Cakes were really good, there weren't any Flapjacks left and they decided that GF food isn't as bad as many people think. But the best bit: PARENT: It's so nice for William to be able to eat everything, as usually he has to bring his own food. This Cub is allergic to a lot of things, but doesn't have Coeliac disease and I think Mum was really grateful that someone had taken into account, and understood some of the problems with the things that William can't eat. That meant more to me, than whether any of the kids had understood what I was talking about or even understood Coeliac Disease. I have no way of knowing but if only one went home a bit more aware then I achieved my goal.
Saturday, 4 May 2013
Stressed out
I got so stressed out the other day, as the invites for my brothers wedding came through. The reception is afternoon tea...... and the venue isn't listed on CUK.
I think I kind of panicked!!! Afternoon tea as you know usually consists of plates of Sandwiches and different types of cakes and fancies.........in fact a Coeliacs nightmare!!!
Got really wound up and spent most of the other day trying to calm myself down. I did email the venue asking lots of questions, and to date I've had no reply.
I needn't have worried my future Sister in Law is an events manager, which I had totally forgotten and I have been in communication with my brother too, they are talking to the caterers so hopefully all will be (and it had better be!!) fine.
My brothers wedding is not a celebration I wish to have spoilt by an uninformed venue. Well we'll see.
I think I kind of panicked!!! Afternoon tea as you know usually consists of plates of Sandwiches and different types of cakes and fancies.........in fact a Coeliacs nightmare!!!
Got really wound up and spent most of the other day trying to calm myself down. I did email the venue asking lots of questions, and to date I've had no reply.
I needn't have worried my future Sister in Law is an events manager, which I had totally forgotten and I have been in communication with my brother too, they are talking to the caterers so hopefully all will be (and it had better be!!) fine.
My brothers wedding is not a celebration I wish to have spoilt by an uninformed venue. Well we'll see.
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Had two parties.....
I went to two parties this weekend, the one on Friday was for my own daughter who will be 17 on Tuesday, and that consisted of 50 teenagers, a live band and a DJ with some awesome music too. My ears were still ringing on Saturday morning!!! But a good time was had by all.
On Saturday I had been invited to a Celidh. We had informed our friends of my recent diagnosis, and was met with the response, oh that's OK we'll do you a separate plate of food. That in itself was a breath of fresh air. Nevertheless, I still ate before I went because we had been in Oxford all day checking out the University at their open day. I also made sure I took some food with me as a back up. When it came to eating I went to see my friend and she said oh yes the food is here, and then she divulged that she had neglected to tell her son and his mates that the separate plates of food were for the 3 Coeliac friends who were at the party.
Needless to say three Separate plates of food in the eyeline of three teenage boys, doesn't really need much explanation, and the ladies son didn't bother to ask, and naturally assumed that the food was for them.......result..........not as many sandwiches as there should have been. Because I had eaten before I went and taken some snacks with me, it wasn't a problem, it was just so funny when the hostess told me what had happened, I don't know what the reaction of the other Coeliacs was, but I just found it really funny. Really enjoyed the Celidh too. It was nice to know though that I, and the other 2 Coeliacs had been treated as guests at their party rather than an inconvenience, I won't forget that.
Couldn't move this morning, I had such a good time last night, and I ache all over.
On Saturday I had been invited to a Celidh. We had informed our friends of my recent diagnosis, and was met with the response, oh that's OK we'll do you a separate plate of food. That in itself was a breath of fresh air. Nevertheless, I still ate before I went because we had been in Oxford all day checking out the University at their open day. I also made sure I took some food with me as a back up. When it came to eating I went to see my friend and she said oh yes the food is here, and then she divulged that she had neglected to tell her son and his mates that the separate plates of food were for the 3 Coeliac friends who were at the party.
Needless to say three Separate plates of food in the eyeline of three teenage boys, doesn't really need much explanation, and the ladies son didn't bother to ask, and naturally assumed that the food was for them.......result..........not as many sandwiches as there should have been. Because I had eaten before I went and taken some snacks with me, it wasn't a problem, it was just so funny when the hostess told me what had happened, I don't know what the reaction of the other Coeliacs was, but I just found it really funny. Really enjoyed the Celidh too. It was nice to know though that I, and the other 2 Coeliacs had been treated as guests at their party rather than an inconvenience, I won't forget that.
Couldn't move this morning, I had such a good time last night, and I ache all over.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)