Now here's a dilemma

When you find yourself getting stressed about something, how do you deal with it?

There are two fairly effective solutions:
1. Remove yourself from the thing that is causing the stress or
 2. Remove the thing that is causing the stress from yourself

All very well and good until it comes to food........humans and food are inextricably linked and you can do neither of the above solutions.   If you remove yourself from food the outcome will not be good, and equally if you remove food from yourself the outcome again will be deadly.

So how on earth do you deal with a stressor that cannot and should not be removed?  No I don't know either, but this is where I'm at now.  Food is stressing me out, I don't want anything to do with it (but I have to to survive)  I can't remove it, and I shouldn't remove myself from it (and before you all panic I won't remove myself from it)  But sometimes when just walking through the kitchen makes you burst into tears how do I deal with that?   I can't have a break from it for 2 weeks, food is ever present as it's a basic human need.  Unless I employ a chef to feed me (now wouldn't that be good!!) three meals a day for a fortnight, that just arrive on the table, there is no let up in this stress at all.

My friends and family have been very good, but I can't help feeling that I am in a glass box, I feel distant even though I'm being included, which isn't helping the feelings of isolation from everybody around me, and I do not want to attend things that involve food because it will just upset me (but won't help the feelings of isolation.)  I know there are some of you out there who know exactly what I'm talking about, and some of you are reading this saying it can't be that bad.

Put yourself in my position: When we go to anything I have to take my own food.  If we go to a venue I have to ring ahead and ask all sorts of questions which sound silly, but are necessary.  Knowing full well that if a mistake is made I wouldn't know since I get no effects whatsoever (I'm what is known as a silent Coeliac).  except malabsorption and that takes quite a long time to show up, and can only be tested by blood tests.  I am not about to compromise my strict GF diet to find out what the effects of eating gluten would be 9 months down the line.  I cannot just turn up and expect to be fed, like the rest of you do.  This becomes a problem, because I get bored with what I make and take with me, it is also more expensive, and I don't get the respite of not having to think about more than one dish for everyone, i.e. I am expected to provide my own food plus a contribution for everyone else.

I've lost interest in food, I don't want anything to do with it, it is stressing me out every time I think about it, I can't get away from it and as a consequence I cannot deal properly with the stress which is starting to make me ill.  I'm eating because I have to, not because it's enjoyable.  All the enjoyment has been sucked out of food and I have no idea how to combat it.  I faced up to Coeliac Disease and confronted it, but this is much, much harder, and it's made even harder by not being able to explain what this feels like or how it affects me.

Nothing is impossible, but this has me stumped as to how to deal with it.

This b***** disease condition...

Yeah I'm upset.  This B***** disease has just deprived me of having a fun evening with my friends.  It is not my friends fault, it is the fault of the establishment where they are going to eat, the best they could offer me was a Salad!!

Do they really think I am going to attend a restaurant and spend extortionate amounts of money to be presented with a bowl of lettuce, while watching everyone else tuck in to decent food?

The venue in question told me that there were loads of items on the menu I could eat, and when I looked everything was either breaded or battered (even the fish and chips was battered in beer batter so worse than normal!) or it was Pasta or bread based.  Clearly this venue has no idea what 'gluten' is, never mind what it's contained in.

I have made a suggestion that we could change venue, but that might present more of a challenge since the invites have already gone out asking people for their choice from the menu.  However I shall wait and see, if we can change the venue to one where I know I can eat safely I will be a happy bunny, but if we can't there is no point whatsoever me even attempting to go.

Feeling very isolated and forgotten about, and just because some restaurant can't or rather won't try and accomodate my diet.  So I have to stay at home while my friends have a good time. No fair!!

P****** off and very angry, at the catering industry.

Rant over, feel better now even though I am very upset.

Wow!! Or What a Wonderful Wedding

I was so scared about attending my brothers wedding yesterday, they had a wedding lunch, which of course was family only, and then they had an afternoon tea (which I believe I stated in a previous post is possibly the worst thing for a Coeliac!!)

I needn't have worried, I had forgotten that my 'now' Sister in Law was an events manager.   It was lovely, and to boot the sun came out.   The reason I was so worried is obvioualy this was a very important celebration and the first one I've attended since diagnosis, and I did not want anything to go wrong.  What was so nice was when lunch came out the lady who was in charge of our table said coeliac sausages for you and then mentioned that the onion gravy was also gluten free (yes we had bangers and mash!!) but in such a discreet manner that the only person who noticed was my husband.

Then the afternoon tea, when I went to see what was available I was told, oh just help yourself from the table, when I explained that I was the lady who was Coeliac she looked at me and said oh yes the Chef is doing yours now, and well all I can say is WOW!!  I had an oval plate to myself with around 16 triangular sandwiches on one half being smoked salmon, and the other half cheese.  My Mum's face was a picture, and then she said 'Is that ALL for you?'  having previously checked, the answer was yes!!

Unfortunately the Bride and Groom had warned me that I wouldn't be able to eat their wedding cake, as it wasn't Gluten Free, but they more than made up for it with the amount of Cake that was plated separately for me (and no I didn't eat all of it!)  5 slices of fruit cake and 5 chocolate brownies.

There was free flowing Tea and Coffee and wine and champagne for those of us that weren't driving.  So although I had my reservations before lunch, I was impressed with the service of the staff, and obviously both my brother and his wife for the effort they put in, to make sure I had a good day too.   I was just a bit miffed I couldn't have the Scones with Cream and Jam. (but I guess over time you get used to that.) I was concerned that my brother would forget that I have a new illness, as up until now, I have always been able to eat everything.  So it was a rewarding experience.

So if you ever go to 'The Dene' in Woldingham, if you talk to the staff I'm sure you will be catered for.  Obviously we had a Private Function area, but I was impressed with the attitude and the service.

Oh and my 5 year old nephew was brilliant as the 'Best Man'  that was sooooo cute.   It was a lovely day.